Our Editor's (Other) Page
If we told you the name of the contributor, you'd think we were trying to fool you. So all we will say is the initials are "L. V." and some of the following are LV's offerings.
FROM THE FRIENDS OF IRONY
Friends of Irony is actually a web site from which LV sent these next images. The name of the site tells it all:
You Can't Judge a Book - or Product
Irony, it seems, comes in many packages. These next images are, to quote LV: "15 products made unintentionally offensive funny by careless sticker placements." These price stickers not only tell you the prices of products, but also how little attention is being paid by the people who put prices on products.
As these examples show, all it takes is a few inadvertently obscured consonants or vowels to transform a wholesome tale of family life in the 19th century into a riveting drama about an underage prostitute being pimped out to pioneers by a ruthless Michael Landon.
People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care.
Italian Auction in Only 44 seconds!
You don't have to understand Italian to follow the auctioneer:
A Chinese Ming Vase is up for auction. The bidding opens at a half-million Euros.
Bidding is brisk and each bidder is clearly identified as each raises the bid by 100,000 Euros.
(The exchange rate at auction time was 1 Euro = $1.43.)
Within seconds, the bid stalls at one million Euros, and the gasp from the crowd
identifies the excitement that prevails in the room. The successful bidder is
the last one who bid one million, and the auctioneer counts down the bid,
"Going once, going twice, and sold to the gentleman sitting in front of me for
one million Euros."
Now, you are going to have to see the video for yourself. The auctioneer is exuberant. The pace is fast. This is how an auction should be run. Please note the excitement on the auctioneer's face after the final bid.
Here we have an open letter to the so-called Red States. This open letter became a hit, following the Presidential Elections of both 2008 and 2012, and made its way around the country. Nobody knows how long it has been in circulation.
I'd love to say I wrote it but nobody seems to know who actually did.
Each time it makes its way around the Internet through email, it seems to pick up more points, and become a little more ... refined, if you can use that term to describe it.
Note that when this was posted on that bastion of Progressive Politics, DailyKOS, as a "diary entry," it was greeted with more derision and negative criticism than kudos. We figured that it really hit a nerve or, as they say here in N.J. a noive!
Whichever way you view it, it is one of those "kidding on the square" things which look to be simple humor and irony, but have a kernel of truth inside.
So, whichever way you do view it ... Enjoy!
Dear Red States:
We’re ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we’ve decided we’re leaving.
We in the Blue States intend to form our own country. In case you aren’t aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon [although Oregon has petitioned for secession since President Obama was re-elected], Washington, Minnesota, Colorado, Michigan, Illinois, New Mexico, and the rest of the Northeast.
We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of the Enlightened States of America (E.S.A.).
To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Opryland.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole Miss.
We get 85 percent of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country’s fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95% of America’s quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners), 90% of all cheese, 90% of high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister to include Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Princeton, Cal Tech, and MIT.
With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson, and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
38% of those in the Red States believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we’re discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% say that Saddam was involved in 9/11, and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we lefties.
We’re taking the good weed, too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.
Citizens of the Enlightened States of America (E.S.A.)